Trust Issues

My shower is amazing.

Seriously, I think everyone can agree, though no one really knows why, that the shower is the best place in the world.

You get clean, ridding yourself of the negativity of the day or day before and starting fresh, alone with your thoughts and isolated by the pounding water.

Beautiful.

So I had a revelation in the shower. See, I've had this relationship issue that I've been trying to get over. And my friend gave me the insight into what the other person's thoughts might be. Which is that they might "just want me around". Like, that's it.

And for some reason, that kind of changed my view. It was like this bug bite that just gave me a nasty feeling about the whole thing, and I've been feeling rather negative towards the issue ever since.

But about the shower revelation.

What I discovered, with this newfound knowledge from my friend, is that the answer I've been seeking all along is to stop trusting this person.

When I first met this person, I did not trust them, as is often the case when we meet new people. It's not that they're untrustworthy (although this person, well, was), it's just that we don't know them well. And that worked well.

Then I started trusting this person. And that's how I got screwed over, because you see, I thought I was allowed to trust them. I thought that the trust would be equalized. Alas, no such luck.

So I had a hard time getting over this person. Then I realized in the shower, that the reason is that I still trust them. That why I feel like we could try and go back to how we were; because I trusted that their attentions were good. Now that my friend gave me just the right insight to make me start to not trust this person, I realized that this is the key.

So whee. I can go back to the beginning with this person, where if they dropped out of my life, it would be no travesty. The only problem with this, this thing that niggles at the back of my mind, is that it will all go back to how it was. So that if this person were to try and return my trust at some point, I would have to start all over with them. Again. Which could lead to problems. Again.

So why don't you just forget about this person altogether, you might ask?

Because they are utterly unforgettable.

I hope this helps anyone who might be going through the same thing. It was quite freeing for me.

Merry Musing,
~Dale B.