Nightime Fancy

Theres something that happens to me at night.

No, not that kind of thing. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I'm talking about the utterly freeing feeling that comes with the ending of the day. Am I the only one who feels this way?

It's like my mind subconsciously falls into it's most core state--I become more adventurous in the dark, more open, more passionate. It's as though it doesn't matter what else I do, because it's nightime, and the night hides my actions where the morning reveals them.

I don't really know why this is. Maybe the morning feels so real, so raw, so everyday, need to get things done. But at night, it feels like, well, I've done the best I can in my day. Now it's time the have fun!

And it's funny, there usually are no consequences for what I do at night. Things really are hidden in the darkness. It's like reality is the daytime, but nightime is like every book I've ever read put into reality--which is like the best thing I can imagine. At night, I can do anything.

I always feel like writing at night, and come up with the best ideas (that sometimes the day reveals to be less interesting, but screw the day), and I feel like I can get anything done the next day. I feel so alive, like the day has prepared me to really live in the night. And then in the morning, despite my whimisical imaginings, I feel tired, grumpy, and ill-adjusted. Maybe this the reason...sleep changes something in me.

When I go through my day, I go through all this crap. Then at night, I am able to let that crap go for a while, knowing (or thinking) that no more consequences can touch me because the day is over. Then sleep helps to make all those subconscious thoughts and feelings from the day organized, so the next morning, I feel disoriented and moody, and essentially different everyday, whereas at night, my feelings are generally predictable--passionate, firey, adventurous.

Plus, the night is just beautiful. Did you ever stand alone in the moonlight and take in the richness of the moon's spotlight, surrounded by the dark shadows of trees? It's hauntingly beautiful. And the loneliness is sort of comforting, like I'm surrounded by a big blanket, rather than in the day when everything is bared. That's another thing. some emotions and actions are really hidden in the night, because my companions don't catch everything, and are more tired so they can't analyze the things that I do. Or at least I think that's how I feel.

I tried looking this up (always wanting to see how others relate, that's me), and all I found were a bunch of quotes from various artistic people, talking about the richness of the night. Which I suppose correlates, but I'm unsure if anyone quite feels the way I do. If anyone's out there reading, let me know if you feel this way. It'd be good to have someone understand what I mean.

Merry Musing,
~Dale B.